"Create a timeline with five events from your life. List the year the event took place."
I was born 1986
I graduated from high school 2004
I graduated from college 2007
I got married 2007
I became a foster parent 2013
Simple Enough.
Except if you're a foster kid.
This is the homework I helped S with last Sunday evening after we got home from our 48-hour "vacation" in Michigan (their first vacation ever). I quickly thought of a few neutral, at-best, events to suggest (ex: "I moved"). Before I went into damage-control mode, S thought for a few seconds and then came up with the only event he could think of to add to his timeline, "Our vacation to Michigan."
While he finished his timeline, I finished my mini-breakdown in my bedroom, and Andy explained that "Mama is crying because she just loves you so much!"
When S was done, his timeline consisted of the day he was born, playing on a baseball team last year, the two times he moved in the last two years, and our "vacation." The last four events on this timeline happened all in a span of 2 years. That school project was a heartbreaking reminder to me that my son has few fond memories from the first seven years of his life.
Foster parenting is no joke. It is crazy hard. Parenting these boys is super challenging. They have experienced so much trauma, and that manifests itself in their behaviors. Some days S drives me bonkers, but then there is a moment like the timeline thing, and the fact that this kid has had more painful experiences in his 9 years than most adults hits me again...and again.
There's no real solution to this, no happy ending for now. All we can do is love these boys hard through the pain and all that comes with it.
We would really appreciate your prayers as we walk alongside our boys as they navigate through their confusing experiences and try to heal.
Foster parenting is no joke. It is crazy hard. Parenting these boys is super challenging. They have experienced so much trauma, and that manifests itself in their behaviors. Some days S drives me bonkers, but then there is a moment like the timeline thing, and the fact that this kid has had more painful experiences in his 9 years than most adults hits me again...and again.
There's no real solution to this, no happy ending for now. All we can do is love these boys hard through the pain and all that comes with it.
We would really appreciate your prayers as we walk alongside our boys as they navigate through their confusing experiences and try to heal.
Thanks for your continued prayers!
