Wednesday, November 04, 2015

To my crazy boys on the night before your adoption

To my crazy boys on the night before your adoption,

Dad keeps saying we're going to be a hot mess tomorrow. Well, the joke's on him because I'm already a mess.

There are so many things I want you to know and remember about the day before we finalized your adoption. I want you to know that I barely held it together today when we gave you the special family shirts we will wear to court tomorrow. And that when I told you that after tomorrow you will never be in foster care again – that you will never be foster kids again – my words caught in my throat for a second because I think those were just about the happiest words I've spoken in my life.

I want you to know that tomorrow simultaneously changes everything and nothing at all. After tomorrow we will have a single name that identifies us. Dad and I won't have to ask anyone else if we can send you on a field trip, take you to a certain doctor, send you to your grandparents' house, or take you on vacation. I won't need to write "foster mom" on forms, I'll just sign them as your mom. These are important things to me.

More important though, I want you to know that this changes nothing about the love I have for you as my sons or the daily life we share as a family. Ask me anytime about the day I first learned your names, or the day I met you when your faces were etched into my heart forever. I will gladly hold your hand and tell you about the day you rocked my world. I will tell you that I knew you were mine even then, and no piece of paper or last name could alter that. My love for you is a force to be reckoned with, and I have and will use that force to protect you for the rest of my life. I don't need DNA or a judge's ruling to promise you that.

Tomorrow will solidify in your minds the special place you hold in my heart and my family, and I cherish that. I want you to be secure in your place in this family, that you will never have to leave. I want you to know that everything I do is for your well being, even when I get it wrong. I want you to know that the only people who love you more than God, Dad, and me are your grandparents. I know this because of the way they love Dad and me and have done everything for our good.

I want you to know that life will move on somewhat normally for you after tomorrow. You may not notice a big change, and that's the way it should be. Tomorrow does not mark the day you became my sons. You have been my crazy boys from the day I met you and this will continue to be true forever. Tomorrow is the day this fact goes on public record: We are a family. Forever.

I could not imagine a more wonderful love story than ours. I would not change a single thing about our life together. All the chaos and calm, the meltdowns and precious memories. I love it all because we're living it together.

You boys and Dad are my whole world. I would take a stormy day with you boys over a sunny one with anyone else. Sometimes I still can't believe how blessed I am to have the privilege of being your mama, but I am honored.

Love you forever,


  1. Beautiful. Congratulations on being blessed with the boys. God bless your journey and adventures.

  2. Beautiful. Congratulations on being blessed with the boys. God bless your journey and adventures.

  3. Love, love, love! Makes my heart melt <3
    Congrats to all of you!!!

  4. Congratulations and good luck! My husband and I also adopted three boys out of foster care when they were 4, 7 and 9. Every conversation you'll have with others goes like this: "Do you have kids?" "Yes, they're 17, 18 and 19." "Oh, wow, boom, boom, boom, huh?" "Not really. I cheated... I adopted them."
    "How old were they when you got them? Are any of them brothers? Was their mom on drugs? Why did she give them up? I really admire you. You're a special person." Verbatim, right? lol. Have fun. I would love to connect. I'm at